Finding Karma Read online

  Entering my bedroom, he leads me to stand beside my bed. There’s a warm glow throughout my room since it’s not dark yet, dusk forcing itself through my halfway-closed blinds. Braden locks eyes with me and swallows slowly. “God, Karma…you are so beautiful…” He leans in and kisses me while reaching for the hem of my shirt. In one swift motion, he lifts it up and over my head, forcing us to break our kiss. I immediately do the same to him.

  He hesitates for a second, his hands at the button of my shorts, undoing them and slowly sliding the zipper down. They fall to the floor with a soft swish and I step out of them, nudging them aside with the edge of my foot. I place the palms of my hands on his chiseled pecs and slowly slide them down to the top of his shorts, my unsteady fingers unfastening them and letting them drop to the floor. His breaths become shallow and his eyes grow darker, if that’s even possible.

  Reaching for the comforter, he yanks it back and waits for me to climb in. I slip in and he joins me, both facing each other. He pulls me close and kisses me in a way that makes me lose all concentration, naturally forcing my nerves to take a back seat for the moment. Feeling his fingers releasing the clasp of my bra, I help him drag the straps down my arms. His lips sweep across my collarbone and inch their way to my chest. A moan escapes me when I feel his mouth on my breast. I arch my back, pressing into him, not believing how amazing this feels.

  He pulls back and says, “You like that?” I can only grunt my response and he laughs softly, moving on to my other breast, warmth traveling throughout my body and settling between my legs. My fingers latch on to his hair, pulling him closer, as he teasingly nips me.

  Sitting up, he reaches for the edge of my panties, slowly sliding them down my legs and my cheeks heat knowing I’m on full display for him. I squirm under his piercing gaze, growing self-conscious from the excessive amount of light streaming across my bed. Suddenly he’s off the mattress, ridding himself of his boxer briefs and searching through our pile of clothes. I sit up and ask, “What are you doing?”

  He looks up at me with a sheepish grin on his face and says, “I need a condom out of my pocket.”

  “Oh.”

  He grabs one and throws it on the bed and then crawls on top of me. With no barriers now, my hands travel up and down his back while he kisses me. We kiss for a long time. Skin to skin, heart to heart, lips on lips. Braden takes his time and I love that he’s thinking of me more than himself.

  Maneuvering in a way that has him at my entrance, he gently rubs against me. This alone is almost his undoing as he buries his face in the crook of my neck, saying, “Christ, Karma…” I smile, loving that I’m the reason he’s unraveling, feeling more confident by the minute.

  He’s still for a moment and I’m wondering why. As if he can read my mind, he tilts his head up and says, “I’m sorry. I had to re-group or this was going to be over before it began.” He seems frustrated as he sits up and grabs the condom, ripping it open with his teeth then rolling it on. I watch in utter fascination.

  “Hey…” His eyes meet mine. “It’s okay, Braden. I love the fact we’re fumbling through our first time together.”

  He rolls his eyes at me and sighs. “Did you have to use the word fumble? If you meant to make me feel better, it didn’t work.”

  I laugh softly and take his face in my hands. “Sorry…bad choice of words. I just meant neither of us have done this before…” His eyes scan my body and he lays us back down, his mouth meeting mine at the same time he slowly pushes his way into me. I tense and he stops, letting me adjust to him. I give him a squeeze with my hands, urging him to continue.

  Slowly rocking, he finally pushes through my barrier, and I feel a burning sensation followed by a slow building of pleasure. His head moves to my ear, his breathing heavy. “You okay, babe?”

  “Yes…”

  I mentally block everything out except for the pleasure I feel from him – his hands, his mouth, his fullness inside me. My senses being as heightened as they are, I swear I can feel the thundering beats of our hearts through both of our chests, proving nothing can tear us apart.

  Just as I’m losing myself, he stops and I feel his head turn back toward the end of my bed. “Really?”

  I lift my head, trying to figure out what he’s talking about. “What?”

  “Christ, Karma…your cat is sitting here staring at us.”

  My cat? When did he jump up here? “It’s okay, Braden, just ignore him.”

  He turns back and moves again but then he suddenly stops. “Shit…I’m sorry, but I can’t do this with your cat watching me – it’s creepy as hell.”

  “Just push him off, Braden.”

  He moves his foot and gently nudges Doobie off the bed. I hear him land on the floor and listen to the sound of the bell on his collar disappear out the door and down the hallway.

  Fearing my cat may have killed the mood, my worries dissipate as Braden moves faster and faster, warmth and tingling spreading throughout me. Then…

  “Oh, shit…I’m sorry…I couldn’t hold on any longer.” His breathing is heavy and he slumps into me, kissing my neck and holding me tight.

  I hug him, laughing to myself on the inside. It doesn’t happen like this in the books I read. But I don’t care. I’ve never felt closer to another human being in all of my short life. The connection that we’ve just shared makes me feel whole, and I’m so overwhelmed by this experience that tears form in the back of my eyes.

  Braden rolls off me and disposes of his condom, tossing it into the trash can beside my nightstand. We’re both quiet, and he finally breaks the deafening silence. “Don’t even pretend that was great for you, Karma. I swear to God I’ll make it up to you tomorrow night.” He turns and I can see the frustration etched on his face.

  I don’t think I could love him any more.

  “Stop, Braden,” I say, to assure him. “I loved everything about it…I’ve wanted you for so long.”

  He lets out a huff. “I bet that didn’t go anything like what you’ve thought about.” His lips tip up in a grin, and the relief rolls off me. “Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine you would feel so great,” he tells me. I smile at him. He smiles back. Peppering my face with kisses, he holds me tight. “I promise it will be better,” he whispers.

  “We have forever to perfect it.” I kiss him on the chin, tasting the saltiness on his skin.

  He looks at me with such adoration. “I love you so much, you know that?”

  I nod, my fingers playing with his earlobe. “I do.”

  We both relax into each other, almost asleep, when Braden says, “I really wish I could stay tonight.”

  * * *

  The next morning when I wake up, the first thing to enter my mind is my night with Braden – I replay every moment of the evening in my head before I get out of bed, a huge smile permanently plastered across my face. I sit and stretch, noticing Doobie lying at the end of my bed. I laugh when I think how he freaked out Braden. Guess we should shut the door next time.

  Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I check for any messages. My heart skips a beat, seeing one from Braden. It says: You’re perfect! I just melted a little.

  Noticing the time, I realize that I need to get moving since I’m working at the bookstore today. I work until three, but least it will keep my mind occupied until I see Braden again, my stomach fluttering at him spending the night.

  * * *

  Thankful that my day passes quickly, I stop at the lingerie store on my way home. I’m not all that girlie about undergarments but I want something matching and sexy for tonight. It doesn’t take me long to pick out a two bras and boy shorts – I’m so not the thong type – which Braden will love. I smile all the way home, trying to imagine his reaction. Nerves no longer the culprit, pure excitement is the only emotion possessing my mind. I can’t explain how different I feel today. It’s so liberating to finally shed my virgin status, making me feel more like a woman and not a girl, the connection I feel to Braden str
engthened tenfold.

  As soon as I walk in the door, my mom calls to check in. They’re having a great time, and my dad’s slotted to speak in two hours. She asks how it went at the bookstore and then tells me they’ll be home sometime tomorrow evening. I love hearing the joy in her voice.

  When Braden’s car pulls into the driveway, I open the door and watch him get out. He’s so gorgeous – one hundred percent pure sexy – and he’s all mine. He’s wearing a pair of navy chino shorts with a gray T-shirt and Sperry Top-siders. I can tell the minute he sees me, breaking out in a huge grin.

  “Hey, beautiful.” He walks up the sidewalk to where I’m leaning against the doorjamb. When he reaches me, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me like only Braden can do. I feel it everywhere and can’t wait to be with him again. “I missed you today,” he says, in a low voice.

  I kiss him on his neck and reply, “Me, too.”

  He pulls back and looks at me. “Come on,” he says, “I want to take you to dinner.”

  “Yeah? Okay, let me run inside and grab my stuff.” After grabbing my purse and cell phone, I lock the door and we walk to his car. After he makes sure I’m in, he walks around and gets in on the driver’s side.

  When I turn to look at him, I notice his duffle bag in the back seat and the butterflies are unleashed once again. I can’t believe I get to wake up to him tomorrow morning, the mere thought making me giddy. He grins when he sees that I’ve noticed his bag. “Where would you like to go? Any suggestions?”

  “How about that hole-in-the-wall Mexican place in the plaza.”

  “The El Mexicana?”

  “Yes, that’s the one. They have the best guacamole.”

  He smiles at me. “Anything for you – let’s go.”

  Pulling out of the drive, he heads towards the plaza, reaching for my hand, resting both on my thigh. “What’d you do today?” I ask him.

  He sighs. “Filled out a couple of college applications and studied some more for the SAT.” Doesn’t sound like much fun. “You worked at the bookstore, right?”

  I nod my answer and then ask, “You’re taking the SAT again? How many times are you planning on taking that horrid test?”

  “As many times as I need to get my target number.”

  I can’t hold my tongue, and I say, “Your target number…or your dad’s?”

  He shoots me a concerned look. “Both. Besides, I thought you were taking it again, too.”

  “I am. But I’ve only taken it once so far.” Braden’s so focused on everything he needs to get accomplished for his senior year – so much it’s exhausting every time he brings up the topic.

  We pull into the parking lot. “Here we are, chica bella.” His small attempt at Spanish makes me smile and we get out, heading into the restaurant.

  Once we’re seated and have placed our orders, Braden looks at me – really looks at me. “I’ve been in such a great mood today…I can’t quit thinking about last night.”

  I look down and smile. When I look back up, he’s still looking at me with so much love filling his deep gray eyes. “Me either.”

  Reaching across the table, he takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb across the top of my knuckles. “I’m not ashamed to admit I was nervous as hell.” His admission surprises me somewhat, relieved he’s not trying to be all macho about it.

  “I was, too. All day long.” I laugh a little thinking about my anticipation.

  He tilts his head and asks, “And now?” I scrunch my brows in confusion. “Are you nervous about being with me again?” he asks, lowering his voice.

  “No, not at all,” I admit. “It’s all I’ve thought about today.”

  His face lights up at my answer and he squeezes my hand. “It’s scary how much I love you.”

  I teasingly say, “Love shouldn’t be scary, Braden.”

  His expression turns serious. “When someone else possesses your heart so completely, it’s scary. Don’t you realize you have the power to destroy me?”

  “Don’t talk like that – I do not.”

  He studies me for a minute. “Yeah, okay.”

  The waitress approaches and Braden asks for the bill. Once it’s settled, we hurry back to my house. When we pull up, I say, “Wait here and I’ll go open the garage door.” He looks at me, not understanding. “I don’t want neighbors to see your car in the driveway all night…just in case.”

  He grins and says, “Good thinking.” I hop out and press the code to the door and stand back while Braden pulls in. He gets out and grabs his bag and we go inside.

  “I’m going to put my bag in your room, if that’s okay.”

  “Sure, I’m going to feed Doobie before I forget.” Braden goes upstairs while I go to the pantry to get the cat food. Doobie comes running when he hears the rustling of the bag. “Hey, Doobie! Were you sleeping in your sunspot? Hmm, Doobie kitty?”

  He meows at me, walking back and forth between my legs, almost tripping me. I squat down and place his bowl on his mat, petting him while he eats. “Such a good boy. Yes, you are.”

  Braden is standing there grinning at me when I get up. “What?”

  “Your cat voice is amusing.” I blush and he walks over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Amusing and adorable.” He kisses me in the crook of my neck, nibbling up to my ear. “As much as I want you right now, I think we should watch a movie and hang out for a while.”

  What? “Why?”

  “Haven’t you heard? Anticipation’s a great form of foreplay.” Just hearing the word foreplay come out of his mouth turns me on. And I’m sure it also has to do with the breathy way he spoke. “Besides, we have all night, remember?”

  I close my eyes, thankful for this night. How could I forget?

  “Okay, you can pick the movie. I’ll make us some popcorn.”

  “Seriously? You’re letting me pick the movie? Do you know what you’ve just unleashed?”

  I laugh at him and say, “I’ll take my chances…now go.”

  While I’m still in the kitchen, I hear him call out, “You’re going to like my choice.”

  I call back, “Are you being sarcastic?”

  “No…I picked one we both love.”

  Carrying the big bowl into the family room, I see the beginning of the movie displayed on the television screen, and I smile. “You did good.” He beams while I sit down beside him, watching the opening credits to Rudy, one of the best movies ever.

  I figured we would make out during the whole movie, but to my surprise we watched until the credits rolled. That’s not to say I wasn’t aware of where he placed his hand, or how he suggestively rubbed my thigh, inching higher and higher. I’m snapped out of my haze for a few moments when the crowd chants, “Ru-dy. Ru-dy. Ru-dy,” and the coach finally put him in for three plays. I always get tears in my eyes when his teammates carry him off the field. Braden leans up and looks at me. “Never fails.”

  “Stop! I can’t help it – this movie is so touching.” He catches a tear that escapes with his thumb and then pushes the button on the remote, turning off the TV.

  He looks at me with dark eyes, “Let’s go to bed.” Holy shit! He stands up and holds his hand out to me. Clasping mine in his, I follow him upstairs. Hell, I’d follow him anywhere.

  The sexual tension between us is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. When we get to my room, Braden kicks off his shoes and reaches up and grabs the back of his shirt, pulling the material over his head. “I want to watch you undress.”

  His words excite me and I like the way they tumble out, his voice thick and raspy. Chills run down my spine as my hands immediately go to the buttons on my shirt, my fingers delicately undoing each one. I slowly push it off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. As soon as Braden sees my new lacy, black bra, he sucks in a breath. “Jesus, Karma…”

  Knowing I have the power to cause him to unravel surges my confidence to new heights. Last night I was so unsure of myself, afraid I was doing everything wrong. But
as he stands before me, ragged breaths and intense eyes, my chest constricts with happiness, knowing the connection that we share will only get stronger each time we’re together.

  Slowly unbuttoning my shorts, I latch onto the zipper pull and lower it, shimmying them down to the floor. Braden’s eyes immediately go to my matching boy shorts. “You look sexy as hell,” he says in a raspy voice. This earns him a genuine smile.

  “You like?” I whisper. I go to unhook my bra and he says, “Wait…leave it on.”

  He pulls me to him, his hands all over my backside, pushing me into his hardness, while his mouth crushes mine, uncontrolled. I don’t know who moans the loudest: him or me. I guess he likes my shopping spree at Victoria’s Secret.

  Breaking our kiss, he says, “Lay on the bed…I want to memorize you in this get-up.” I do as he says and watch him take off his shorts, his eyes studying me the whole time. My eyes land on the steely erection still nestled inside his boxers, poking out the top of the waistband. He’s so beautiful. Kneeling on the bed, he slowly crawls and pulls me up so I’m facing him on my knees. Placing his mouth on the swell of my breast, he kisses me through the black lace. His hand is now on my other breast, yanking the cup of the bra, exposing me to him. His mouth moves to it immediately, while my hands pull at his hair, pressing him into me at the same time. I lose myself in his touching and kissing. Those hands…

  Tonight is so different…the awkwardness, the fumbling, the nerves, fallen to the wayside as we now have more confidence, are more in tune with the physical aspect of our relationship. And I love it. His confidence is a major turn-on, his knowledge of my body liberating.

  “God, Braden…don’t stop.”

  He looks up at me and grins. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

  Unhooking my bra, he slides it down my arms. Both of his hands are on my chest, sending a straight shot of hot sensation between my legs. His fingers tuck into the sides of my panties, pulling them down my thighs. “Lay back a minute so I can get these off.” I do as I’m told and he quickly disposes of his underwear, too. He pulls me back up and says, “Climb on top of me.” He’s sitting back on his feet and I straddle him, wrapping my arms around his neck. Placing one hand underneath my behind, he lifts me up and slides inside, filling me and leaving me utterly breathless for a second. It feels so different from last night…so much more pleasure…