Unclaimed Regrets Read online

  I continue to guide him to the library, and he pulls up in front of it and puts the truck in park. I have three minutes to spare thanks to his lead foot and him not wanting me to be late. I reach for the door handle and say, “Thanks so much for the ride.” I’m feeling out of my element and don’t know how to make a graceful exit.

  He reaches for me and says, “Come here,” as he scoots across the bench seat and wraps one arm around my back and his other hand goes behind my neck, bringing our mouths together, this time with so much more intensity. He wastes no time gaining access with his tongue, and I feel like I’ve just had the wind knocked out of me. I’m reeling from the pleasure he’s providing me with his incredibly soft, but firm, talented lips. I knew I was out of my league. Man, can this guy kiss!

  Just as I was getting completely and utterly lost in the joining of our mouths, he ends the kiss and puts his forehead against mine, sliding his hand from behind my neck to cup the left side of my face. I open my eyes and he’s looking back at me. “I will never, ever complain one iota about moving across state to Northfield, Vermont. Best thing that ever happened to me,” he says, stroking his thumb across my cheek.

  I smile shyly and say, “I’m just glad I was the one in the office this morning.”

  He thinks about this for a minute and says, “You think if anyone else had been in that office this morning, that she’d be here right now?”

  I shrug, feeling a little naïve. He shakes his head, “I don’t think that’s how it works, Snowflake. It’s only you that caught my attention the moment you walked in.” I feel my cheeks heat and he gives me a chaste kiss before saying, “You’d better get in there.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him, climbing out of the truck. “Bye.” And then a thought runs through my head, and I turn to him before I shut the door. “Wait…do you know how to get home from here?”

  He laughs at this and says, “I’ll be fine, now get in there.” I nod and shut the door. Climbing the steps to the library entrance, I turn back and look at him, and he waves to me before heading home.

  chapter three

  TREY

  twelve years ago

  As I pull away from the library, I realize I really have no idea how to get back home. I make turn after turn, hoping to stumble upon something familiar. It’s not a big town, which is why I wasn’t really concerned. Finally, I find myself passing the high school, and I now know how to get home from here.

  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would meet someone on my first day of school that just rocked my world. I’ve been with plenty of girls; they throw themselves at me left and right. I’m a teenage guy, if a girl offers me sexual favors, who am I to turn them down? I especially couldn’t believe how the girls at school today didn’t waste any time trying to stuff their phone numbers in my pocket or suggest we take a walk behind the building during free period.

  Adelyn Winters. I’ve never met anyone like her. Sure, I could tell that she was interested, but she tried to hide it from me instead of throwing herself at me. I can’t even put my finger on what it is about her that has my head spinning. I think it’s the whole damn package.

  I think back to this morning when she walked into the office. The first thing I noticed was her tawny hair that fell just past her shoulders, since she had her back to me. When she turned around, I saw that she wasn’t wearing much makeup, and I noticed her big, brown eyes that complimented her olive skin. She wasn’t stick thin, nor did she have a lot of curves; more like an athletic build, slim with good muscle tone. It made me wonder if she played sports. She was unlike any girl I had ever been with, and I think I even made her uncomfortable at times.

  My friends at home would call me a pussy with how Adelyn’s affected me, but they aren’t here so I don’t give a shit. It’s kind of nice being anonymous for a while, no one knowing your history or how you normally react to things. I can start all over here with a clean slate. No one has to know I was kind of a male slut at my old school.

  After hanging out with Adelyn today, I realize I want to shed that image and be the guy that she might fall for. I’m tired of girls using me just because they want to say they had sex with the hot guy. I know I used them too, but I want to approach high school differently now, see how it turns out.

  I realize I’ll have to take it slow with Adelyn since she doesn’t seem like the kind of girl that puts out, but that’s not what I’m interested in at the moment. And I probably shouldn’t have kissed her so soon. But I couldn’t help myself…it seemed like the most natural thing to do when we were in that covered bridge. Besides, when you find someone that makes you take notice at first sight, you sure better take advantage of it.

  I find myself wanting to know everything about her. I want to spend as much time as I can with her, and I have never in my life had that thought about any other girl I’ve met.

  The way she looked at me after that kiss, that’s something to be stored in my memory bank forever. She damn near killed me with that kiss; I’m getting hard just thinking about it. I wonder if she’s ever been with anyone, and I instantly can’t stand the thought of anyone else being with her in that way. I need to stop this line of thinking before I go crazy.

  I begin to take in the scenery that surrounds me. It’s truly amazing what I see laid out before me as I’m driving down the winding road. I hadn’t really noticed the beauty that encompasses me until I saw it through Adelyn’s eyes today, and I can understand how she is so taken with her small town in Vermont. I can’t wait to see this place lit up with color this autumn, and then I envision spending it with Adelyn. Man, I got it bad.

  After being so lost in thought, I’m shocked when I pull in my driveway, having made it home without getting lost. My dad’s probably been wondering what happened to me after school.

  I grab my backpack off the seat and head inside. My mom’s in the kitchen, getting a head start on dinner.

  “Hey, how was your first day at school?” she asks, chopping up carrots like a professional.

  “Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be,” I tell her, grabbing an apple out of the bowl on the table.

  “Luke made it home from school before you did, and the middle school gets out later than high school. I was starting to worry,” she tells me with a concerned look on her face.

  “Sorry about that. I gave someone a ride and she was showing me around a bit,” I say, pulling out a chair and plopping down.

  She raises an eyebrow at me. “She? Well, that didn’t take long,” she says, perhaps a little concerned.

  “It’s not what you think, Mom. This girl isn’t like anyone I’ve ever met before. She was just being nice. She helped show me around at school today,” I tell her, realizing that I never really talk to my mom about girls that much.

  “That’s great, Trey, but you better get your butt out to the milking shed and help your father and the crew out. He was looking for you earlier.”

  I grab my backpack and get up. “I’ll just go change real quick. Was he mad?” I hate to piss my dad off.

  “No, not really. More concerned than anything,” she says, smiling at me. “Just hurry out to the milking shed and blend in…he’ll be fine.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” I hurry to my room, put some old clothes on, and run out to the milking shed. There are still plenty of cows in line to be milked and I jump right in. I don’t see my dad anywhere so maybe I can pull this off.

  My brother, Luke, sees me and comes over to where I’m putting the milking cups on cow after cow. “Way to bail after school! I had to cover for you and pick up the slack.”

  I immediately feel bad about this, knowing if it were the other way around, I would be majorly pissed. “Sorry, man. Go on, I’ll finish your work.”

  “Really? Thanks, Trey.” He starts to leave but turns and says, “Where were you anyway?”

  I just give him one of my sly grins, and he says, “Say no more, dude. Sometimes I hate you.” I know he doesn’t mean it. I know
secretly he wants to be like me when he gets to high school. I need to change his perception but now is not the time.

  I keep a steady pace not wanting to get behind attaching the milking cups to each cow while the platform slowly rotates around. Sometimes I find this work therapeutic. Listening to the jams playing in the milking shed, I get in a groove as I make sure each cow is cupped. It takes anywhere from seven to ten minutes for each cow to be milked.

  I see my dad walking around, leading the cows that have already been milked in the direction of the paddocks. He sees me and gives me a nod, acknowledging my presence. I nod back and know that this will be the end of the situation, and that he’s not mad. I also know that this was warning number one, and there had better not be another one anytime soon.

  This is what’s expected of me being raised on a dairy farm. It doesn’t matter what I want to do or what I have planned, these cows are on a schedule and need to be milked around five a.m. and three p.m. every single day. They don’t do well with change.

  After all the cows have been milked, I help with hosing down and cleaning the milking shed. When that’s all finished, I head up to the house to see if Luke wants to do some target shooting before dinner.

  *****

  I get up at five a.m. to start the whole milking process again before heading off to school. I can’t believe I’m actually looking forward to being there, but only because I get to see Adelyn. I’m not what you would call a great student - it doesn’t come as easily to me as it does my brother.

  I pull into the parking lot, realizing I’m a bit early. I don’t think the buses have even been here yet. I sit in my truck, listening to my favorite Creed CD. I look through my passenger window and see that Amanda chick heading towards my truck. Shit! I act like I don’t see her and start fiddling with the contents in my backpack.

  I hear my passenger door being opened, and before I realize what’s happening, she’s sitting in the seat beside me. “Hey, Trey. How’s it going?” She turns to me, making sure I get an eyeful of the cleavage she’s proudly showing off. My body betrays me – she definitely has a nice rack.

  “You always just climb into people’s trucks?” I ask, not believing I’m in this situation before seven a.m. She scoots across the bench seat closer to me.

  “I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out after school? My parents don’t get home from work until five,” she says, looking up at me through her big, fake eyelashes. This is exactly what I told myself I was sick of - this chick doesn’t even know me.

  “Look, I’m sure you’re a nice girl, but I don’t have time to hang out after school with anyone. I’ve got responsibilities at home,” I tell her in a clipped tone.

  “I saw you leave school yesterday with Adelyn. Looks like you made time for her,” she says a bit agitated. “You’re definitely wasting your time with that girl if you want to have some fun.”

  This girl is unbelievable. I then see Amanda’s eyes flick out my windshield and before I know it, she’s dropped her cell phone on the floorboard of my truck. She bends down quickly to pick it up, scooting closer to me in the process. I look out the windshield and see Adelyn walking down the sidewalk, smiling at me when our eyes meet. Just then Amanda pops her head up and she fucking wipes her mouth. I see Adelyn’s smile diminish and a look of horror crosses her face. Dammit! I look at Amanda and want to slap that smug look off her face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I ask, clearly pissed off.

  She smiles at me. “What? I just dropped my phone.” She scoots over to the door and starts to climb out, knowing her mission has been accomplished. “See you around, Trey. Let me know if you ever want to hang out – the offer is always good.” She winks at me and shuts the door.

  Fuck my life! I jump out of my truck as fast as I can in search of Adelyn. I don’t even know what I can say to her to explain away what she just witnessed. I run through the school entrance, heading straight for her locker.

  She’s there and her body immediately stiffens when she senses me standing beside her. “Adelyn, what you think you just saw did not happen,” I say, praying she hears the sincerity in my voice.

  Without looking at me, she says in a steely voice, “Just what is it you think I saw, Trey?”

  I run my hand through my hair in frustration and ask her, “You’re going to make me say it?”

  She turns to me with fire in her eyes and doesn’t say a word.

  “Okay. I was just sitting in my truck and she gets in uninvited…we were just talking and when she saw you coming…”

  She shifts and slams her locker shut, turning away from me, and heads toward our first period class. Shit!

  I follow her down the hall and enter the classroom, taking my assigned seat beside her, silently thanking our teacher for making these our permanent seats yesterday. She won’t look at me and I can feel the hostility rolling off of her.

  Knowing there’s no way in hell I can have this conversation with her in the middle of class, I resign to her anger and just let her be for now.

  Mrs. Kincaid begins talking about exploring the properties of square roots and I try to pay attention, but I can’t quit studying Adelyn. She won’t even glance my way so I decide I’ll try to talk to her at lunch. Maybe by then she’ll have cooled off some.

  When class is over, she gets up so fast that she’s out the door before I can even get my things together. Just as well. I head towards my locker, not believing how shitty my day’s been going already.

  Amanda and a group of friends walk by my locker. “Hey, Trey!” she says, winking at me. Her friends all giggle and I ignore them, grabbing my book for next period. I will never understand girls like Amanda. I slam my locker shut and wish I could shed the ‘new guy’ status.

  *****

  I’m trying to figure out what I want to say to Adelyn as I’m walking to the lunchroom. How do I make her believe me? I walk in and spot the table we sat at yesterday. Cam and Dylan are just sitting down, but I don’t see Adelyn anywhere. I approach them and ask, “Have you guys seen Adelyn?”

  Cam looks up. “Hey! No, not yet.” I decide I’m too nervous to eat so I take a seat beside Dylan.

  “Aren’t you eating?” Dylan asks.

  “Nah, I’m not really hungry,” I say, looking all around the lunchroom.

  “Shit, that didn’t take long. Day two and you’ve already discovered how bad the food is. Don’t worry, you’ll get use to it,” he jokes.

  Cam eyes me for a minute before asking, “What’s up with you and Adelyn?”

  The way he’s looking at me makes me a little uncomfortable. It makes me wonder if he’s into her and I’m missing something. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have let me kiss her yesterday if there was something going on between them. Besides, they didn’t seem that way at all yesterday at lunch. “What do you mean?” I ask, trying to sound casual.

  “You seem real anxious to talk to her, that’s all.” He eases up a little.

  “It doesn’t look like she’s eating today,” Dylan says. “She spends her lunch hour in the art room a lot. You should check there.”

  I get up from the table and say, “Thanks, man.” Dylan just nods his head once and takes a huge bite of what appears to be some sort of mystery meat.

  I don’t know where the art room is, so I ask a teacher who is walking down the hall. He points me in the right direction, giving me the room number.

  When I get there I look through the glass on the door, and I see her sitting at an easel, sketching a vase of flowers that are sitting on the desk in front of her. Her back is to me so she doesn’t notice me watching her. She looks so graceful, gliding her pencil across the paper in wispy strokes.

  I quietly open the door and she turns at the intrusion. I notice that she sighs heavily while turning back around. “I waited for you in the lunch room. When you didn’t show, Dylan told me you might be in here,” I say to her.

  She continues gliding her pencil across the page, choosing to ignore me.
Now it’s my to turn to sigh. “Adelyn, look, can we talk about this?” I ask, getting frustrated.

  She stills for a moment and puts her pencil down. She slowly turns around and looks at me. She concedes, saying, “I’m listening.”

  I take a few steps toward her and take a seat in the chair beside her. I take a deep breath and let it out, saying, “I’m going to tell you the God’s honest truth.” She nods slightly and I continue. “I was waiting in my truck this morning for the bus to drop you off, and Amanda just walks right up and gets in. She asked me to hang out after school and I turned her down. When she saw you coming, she purposely dropped her phone and then popped up at just at the right moment, making it look like…well, you know what it looked like.” I try to gauge how my words are affecting her. “It was all an act, apparently just for you. Believe me, I was just as shocked as you were.” She seems to be absorbing every word I just spoke.

  “Well, knowing how Amanda operates around this school, I guess I choose to believe you.” A small smile appears on her face, as she says, “It did look pretty bad.”

  I’m so relieved she’s found a bit of humor in all of this. “Thank you for believing me,” I tell her, my whole body relaxes, not realizing how tense it was. I may just have met Addie, but I know she is not the kind of girl to hang around a guy that does those sort of things – a guy like I use to be, but she doesn’t need to know this.

  “She’s not going to give up, you know, and I can’t compete with the likes of Amanda Jewel,” she informs me as she looks away. Is she serious?

  “Adelyn, look at me.” She slowly meets my eyes. “I have absolutely zero interest in Amanda or anyone like her, okay?” I wait for her reaction to what I just told her. I’m not really getting one. I ask again, in a quiet voice, “Okay, Snowflake?” That gets her.

  She gives me a half-smile and says, “Okay.”

  “And no more talk about competing because that’s just ridiculous,” I add. She scrunches her nose up at me in the most adorable way. “I want to see where this might go,” I tell her, pointing my finger back and forth between us.