Unclaimed Regrets Read online

  “Something horrible did happen last night but I just can’t see him, Mom – it’s too soon.” I begin to get ahold of myself, noticing the amount of concern etched in her face.

  “Don’t you think you should talk it out, Addie? Whatever it is?” she asks.

  I hang my head down, not being able to meet her eyes. “I don’t think what happened can be talked out, Mom. We’re over.”

  Her eyes get huge and she asks, “You broke up? Oh, Addie, I’m so sorry, but he certainly doesn’t look like he wants to be broken up and neither do you, so why wouldn’t you work it out?” She is forever the romantic, especially when it comes to Trey and me.

  “It’s not that easy, Mom. He really hurt me and I just can’t talk about it right now.” I will her to drop it and send him on his way.

  She tries to read me and then says, “Okay, I’ll tell him that you’re not ready.” I know this pains her since she’s nuts about that boy.

  After a few minutes, I hear the front door shut and I crawl to my window and peek out the side of my blinds. He’s walking to his truck with his head hung, looking so dejected. Serves him right after what he did to me. I crawl back to bed and stay there all day.

  My parents leave me alone, knowing I need this.

  *****

  Dreading Monday more than anything, I drive myself to school. I hate what it symbolizes.

  Before I left, I told myself that I would hold my head high and handle myself with maturity while keeping my anger at bay. It was the only plan I had.

  Sure enough, everyone in this freaking school is talking about what happened Saturday night, with hushed conversations and pointing taking place all around me. I really wanted to stay home today but my mom reassured me it wouldn’t solve a thing. I’m not so sure.

  I’m at my locker when I see him. He’s heading straight for me and I want to squeeze myself into the tall, narrow ten-inch metal frame, providing a protective barrier between us. I feel trapped, knowing I can’t get my books in quick enough before he’s standing beside me.

  In a firm but caring voice, I hear him say, “We need to talk, Addie.”

  I can’t look him in the eye. “I’m not ready, Trey.”

  “Dammit, Addie, I’ve been going out of my mind all weekend. Have you even read any of my texts or listened to the thousands of voicemails that I’ve left you?”

  Okay, now he’s just exaggerating. There were nineteen voicemails on top of the now thirty-nine missed calls and twenty-three texts. But who’s counting?

  “No,” I tell him.

  He just stands there staring holes into me. “You need to hear me out, Addie. You owe us that much.”

  I jerk my head around and look him in the eye, saying as controlled as I can, “I don’t owe you anything. That stopped the night you decided to throw us away for a romp with the school slut.” Then I slammed my locker and walked away, leaving him standing there, staring after me.

  Well, so much for my plan – didn’t even make it to first period.

  *****

  I ignored Trey all week at school, but that didn’t stop him from trying to talk. It was starting to get old. The more I blew him off, the angrier he got. He has no right to be angry, the pompous ass.

  Then he finally pulled out the grand gesture. Saturday morning he shows up on my front porch, telling my mom he wasn’t going to leave until I agreed to speak to him. Well, that may have been all well and good, but it’s the beginning of February and it’s only about ten degrees outside.

  I let him continue his earnest display of valiancy, peeking out my window to see how long his truck remained in my driveway. Finally, I grow worried, wondering how long it takes until frostbite sets in.

  Hearing my mom nervously pacing back and forth downstairs, I finally cave and tell my mom to send him up. I secretly love the lengths he’s taken to win me over.

  Noticing he enters my room with a steaming mug of hot chocolate in his hands, I smile to myself knowing that my mom probably had that ready for him ten minutes after he showed up.

  I’m sitting on my bed and he sets his drink down on my desk, pulling the chair out to face me and sits down. I can’t believe how red his face is from the frigid cold, but I refuse to comment on it.

  He takes me in for a moment, like he’s about to choose his words very carefully. Finally, he says, “You are the most pain-in-the-ass, stubborn girl I have ever known.” What? That’s what he chose to lead with?

  A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, not being able to help it, but then I remember why I’m being such a pain-in-the-ass and quickly dispel the traitor smile.

  “Can we finally talk about what happened last Saturday, Addie?” He sighs heavily, like he’s ready for a battle.

  I could go the rest of my life without reliving that night, but I know he needs to do this so I reluctantly nod my reply.

  He places his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together and clears his throat before he begins. I notice his fingers are awfully red too.

  “I’m going to start out by saying I’m not trying to make excuses for my behavior before I get going. I’m not use to drinking and, as I found out later, Amanda had all her friends and herself making sure I got good and wasted that night.” He holds his hands in the air and quickly adds, “I know - it was my choice to drink what was given to me, but I had no idea what I could handle since I’m not use to it.”

  He waits for my reaction to his statement and after receiving none, he continues. “I am so, so, so sorry for what you went through that night. I would never have let that happen if I had been in my right frame of mind. Addie, I was so wasted I didn’t even realize she was sitting on me, let alone kissing me. I was practically passed out - the only thing snapping me out of it was your voice.” He pauses, trying to read me. “Dylan had to fill me in on what happened, Addie, so you can ask him if you don’t believe me.” I’m not even shocked by his story, knowing what a bitch Amanda can be.

  “I love you, Addie, and I certainly don’t want to be with Amanda. Even I see how sick and twisted she can be and it really pisses me off that she did all of this at our expense. I know how it looked but I swear to you I wasn’t making out with her; it was completely one-sided.” He pauses and adds, “I really need for you to believe me, Addie. This last week has been hell and I can’t stand you hating me.” His eyes become shiny and I know he means every word he’s saying.

  I know he’s waiting for me to say something, but it’s really hard for me to just flip the switch and have everything be back to normal. I hear everything he’s saying and I’m leaning toward believing him, but it’s just so hard. The only thing that pops out of my mouth is, “I hate her so much, Trey.”

  He looks me in the eye and says, “I know you do, Snowflake, and you have every right to.”

  He slowly gets up from his chair and cautiously approaches me. Sitting down on the edge of my bed, he takes my hand and holds it gently. “Do you believe me?”

  I look up at him and nod, saying, “Yeah, I believe you…it just crushed me, Trey.”

  He wraps his fingers around my neck, cupping my jaw in his hands. I shiver inadvertently from the iciness they still hold. “I know, baby. I shared every ounce of your pain when you wouldn’t speak to me. I missed you so damn much.” He drops his forehead to mine and I can feel the soft pants of his breath hitting my lips.

  “Trey - ”

  “Don’t do that to me again, Addie, you hear? I was a wreck.”

  He reaches around me and pulls me in close, burying his head in the crook of my neck. “I was a wreck too,” I tell him. “No more parties for awhile, huh?”

  Laughing gently, he lifts his head and looks me in the eyes. “No more parties, baby.” He sweeps his lips across mine as if he’s testing the waters. When he gets no resistance, he forcefully joins our lips as if it’s my lips that will erase everything that happened last Saturday night.

  We spent the rest of the weekend trying to get over that past week from hell, with T
rey being overly attentive.

  Monday at school, everyone seemed relieved that we were back together, and I sweetly reveled in my victory when we passed a shocked Amanda in the hallway. Trey seemed to pull me tighter to him right when she came into sight, a small but appreciated gesture.

  chapter thirteen

  TREY

  Amanda wants me to stay and watch a movie with her and Jackson, but I need to remove myself. The vibe I’m getting from her has changed since we ran into Addie, and I’m not in the mood to even deal with it. My disposition has been foul ever since I saw her with Mark. I’m not sure what his intentions are but I don’t like it.

  Before I make it out the door, she says, “Why didn’t you tell me Adelyn was in town?”

  Shit! Turning to face her, I say, “She came back for the reunion just like a lot of people did.”

  “Are you trying to get back together with her?” I don’t like where this questioning is leading.

  I breathe out a huge sigh. “Look, Amanda, I don’t want to get into this right now, okay?” I step aside and call out to Jackson. “Hey, Little Man, I’m leaving. Come give me a hug.” Jackson runs over to me and I bend down to hug him. “You be good for your mom, okay?” I ruffle his hair with my hand.

  “Okay, Trey. See ya.” He fixes his hair before he goes back to picking out a movie to watch.

  I tell Amanda goodbye and walk out the door. She stays and watches me and just as I get to my truck, I hear her call out, “She’s going to break your heart all over, Trey!”

  I look at her over the front of my truck and simply say to that, “Goodnight, Amanda.” I get in, back out of the drive and start to drive towards the farm, but decide I want to be alone for a while and head to the spot where Addie and I always went to be in total seclusion.

  I pull in slowly, so many memories flooding my head and I kill the engine. Man, it’s so peaceful out here. The only sounds are the buzzing of the locusts and crickets. Addie and I spent hours and hours out here under the stars. She lost her virginity to me out here. Damn, I can almost feel her body in my mind. I swear I have it memorized.

  I haven’t really had a relationship to speak of in all the years that we’ve been apart. Sure, I have some ‘friends with benefits,’ but no one I want to spend time with, no one even comes close to how Addie makes me feel.

  After thinking about our heated exchange the other day, I realize she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about. The Addie I know would have just apologized for being in the wrong, but she got mad as hell! I need to consider what that means. My heart races…what if there actually is an explanation for everything? Could there really be though? I physically feel sick to my stomach thinking I could have jumped to a conclusion that cost us our relationship and ten years, but deep down inside, I just don’t see how that’s possible.

  I decide that we need to hash this all out, and I don’t care how hard it is on us or how unpleasant it may become. Then I decide that we’re going to hash it out right here. I’ve got to get her to meet me out here – no distractions and no quick getaways.

  *****

  After a night of tossing and turning, I welcome the early morning chores on the farm. I never mind helping out with the milking when I’m here, along with anything else that Dad or Luke could use a hand with. I guess I kind of miss it, but it wasn’t something I wanted to do over building houses. I’ve created the most magnificent homes along Lake Champlain, homes that only the elite can afford.

  I guess you could say I’ve done quite well for myself and have earned the reputation for being one of the best in the business. I have a small fortune saved because of it. Being a simple man who lives a simple life, I’ve saved almost everything I’ve made. I’m just waiting for someone to share it with. I can’t help but admit to myself that I’m allowing the smallest bit of hope to exist that it could be Addie.

  That hope is what has me driving to the library, aware of the fact that Addie might be there. It’s going on noon and I pray I haven’t missed her. If I can just convince her to give me an evening, maybe we can get past all of the hurt and try to move forward. I’d do just about anything for that to happen.

  Parking my truck, I scan the lot for her car but don’t see it. Determined not to let that ruin my optimism, I go in to find Nancy to see if she knows if she’ll be here later.

  Nancy’s not in her office so I start canvasing the building, everything is coming together beautifully and I’m so thankful I could be a part of this. Hearing Nancy’s voice in the distance, I follow the sounds of her conveying instructions to some other volunteers. When I finally see her, she is headed my way, flipping through papers on her clipboard.

  Looking up, she smiles and says, “You’re exactly the person I need to see. The last of the bookcases were delivered this morning.”

  “That’s great,” I tell her, and we begin walking back to her office. “Is there anyone else slated to be here today to give me a hand?”

  She flicks through her papers once again saying, “Looks like Dawson should be here shortly. He had to take his wife for a doctor’s appointment this morning since she’s due any time now.” This puts a smile on her face.

  “Oh, wow, I didn’t know that.” I hesitate before asking what I came here to ask. “Listen, do you know if Addie is supposed to be in today?” My voice probably just gave away the importance behind my words.

  Nancy practically winces and says, “Trey, I’m sorry but Addie left this morning for home. She stopped by on her way out to say goodbye.”

  I can tell she would rather be telling me anything other than what she just did, and I feel like I just got kicked in the gut. Our timing is completely screwed up. I don’t trust myself to speak so I just give her a curt nod before turning to leave.

  “Trey?” she says before I’m out the door. I slowly turn around to face her. “She said she would be coming back for the grand opening in two weeks. She promised she wouldn’t miss it.” She knows she just gave me the hope I needed.

  A slow smile spreads across my face. “Thanks, Nancy. I’ll go get started on the bookcases.” Knowing I still have one more shot at getting this right, my mood lifts. I just need to keep busy for the next two weeks.

  *****

  After a long day working at the library, I get in my truck and just start driving. I feel empty, like I can tell Addie is no longer here. I decide to drive somewhere where I can feel closer to her, and I take off in the direction of the Slaughter House Bridge – the place Addie took me to on the first day I met her and where we had our first kiss.

  As I approach the covered bridge, I wish I could go back in time and re-live those days with Addie, especially the first day I saw her in the office at school. I can’t put my finger on it, but there was just something about her that drew me in and I was hooked.

  I pull my truck off to the side of the road right before I get to the bridge and get out. I walk across it and stop to look out the open window. This right here is the spot I kissed Addie for the first time. I’d give anything to feel her lips on mine again.

  I think about the last week since the reunion and all of the exchanges I’ve had with her. We just couldn’t seem to get our shit straight. I know she thinks I’m seeing Amanda, and I’m so pissed at myself for not setting her straight before she left. I’ve been such an asshole this past week and I don’t blame her for leaving. Reminding myself that I’ve got one more shot, I walk back to my truck, knowing I can’t screw this up.

  I think it’s time I get back home myself; I’ve been away from work long enough. I’ll get things squared away at the library before I leave, but I know I’ve been gone long enough, and I’m sure my crew is wondering about my absence.

  chapter fourteen

  ADELYN

  Pulling into my driveway, I get a strange feeling when I see my home. I’m not feeling as excited to be here as I thought I would. I’m sure some has to do with the phone calls I received on my way home from Rex’s mom, which I ignored. I jus
t want all of the phone calls to stop. Then there’s the fact that I just left Trey without having a much-needed conversation. I know I’ll be going back but will he be there? I guess I’ll find out the answer to that question in a couple of weeks.

  Driving into the garage, I get out, grab my purse and laptop, and go inside, deciding I’ll mess with my luggage later. Opening up the curtains that had been drawn, the sun radiates through the windows. I then make a mental note to clean out my refrigerator since I was gone much longer than I had planned.

  Grabbing my laptop, I open it up and start going through my emails, only answering the important ones. I did a good job keeping up with my work while I was in Northfield, but I need to send my completed projects to a couple of my clients. I wanted to go through them one more time before I sent them.

  I hear my cell phone ringing from my purse. I get up to grab it, praying it’s not Rex’s mom again. The screen indicates it’s Wade and I immediately tap the screen and say, “Hey, friend. What’s up?”

  “Hey, you. Just checking to see if we’re still on for tomorrow night at the diner. I didn’t know if you were home yet or not.”

  “Honestly, I’ve been home for about twenty minutes. And yes, we’re still on since we have so much to talk about,” I tell him, getting up to grab a bottled water out of the fridge.

  He chuckles at this and asks, “Do we need to up our meeting time so we can fit in all of your drama?”

  “No, that won’t be necessary. Unless you have drama that needs addressing?”

  “Nope. Drama-free here. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night then. Glad you made it home safe, Addie.”

  “Thanks, Wade. See you tomorrow.” I end the call and look back in the fridge. I slide the trashcan over, throwing out my old produce, knowing I need to go grocery shopping but don’t want to. I open the freezer to see if there’s anything in there to hold me over until tomorrow. There’s a small container of spaghetti sauce I take out to thaw since I know I have some pasta in the pantry.